Newborn Kim, Circa 1981: "Wahhhh!!"
3rd Grade Kim, Circa 1989: "Wow, this new school thing is hard. How do I make friends here? Why doesn't anyone like me? Who am I?"
7th Grade Kim, Circa 1993: "I'm not the dorkiest kid around, but I'm not even close to cool. Who am I?"
12th Grade Kim, Circa 1999: "Wow, not even a chorus part in the show? I don't know life outside of choir and theater. Who am I?"
19 Year Old Kim, Circa 2000: "Is this college/want to be a teacher when I grow up thing really for me? Who am I?"
21 Year Old Kim, Circa 2002: "And just like that, I'm a motherless daughter. Where do I go from here? Who am I?"
24 Year Old Kim, Circa 2005: "Hmmm, my first job failure. I really dodged a bullet by quitting before I could get fired. Yeah, maybe that witch of a boss is right, I should never manage people again. Who am I?"
28 Year Old Kim, Circa 2010: "I'm a wife and a mother. I have a job I love and a passion I'm, well, passionate about. But really, who am I?"
So clearly, most of my life has been an identity crisis of sorts, and while it ebbs and flows, I've really been stuck in that question for the last few weeks.
Who am I?
I've been laying awake at night asking that question, and right now, I really don't feel like I have a clear answer.
Will I write my way though some of my thoughts? Maybe.
Does a heavy question like that explain my lack of posting? To some degree.
And most importantly, when I figure out just who I am, am I going to love the person I find? I sure hope so.
8 comments:
Once you find out who you really are, life is no longer fun. The best part about living is discovering all these new things about ourselves that we didn't know before, which then leads us to wonder how we'll surprise ourselves next.
What about a mentor? Could you look into finding a mentor or someone older at your church that you could meet with and bounce ideas off of? Just a thought?
I have been in the same boat. A few years ago I took a really interesting class at my church called You Can Make a Difference. Now I am not saying I have everything figured out, but it was a great class and gave me some new direction in my life. I think they may be starting a new class pretty soon. FYI. http://nativitychurch.org/Adults/adults.html
I sort of ran into this when we did the blogger volunteer event - people kept asking me who I was and what I blog about - well, not anything terribly interesting really-unless you are my mother in law-or some day - my children!
Finding yourself is a journey - not a destination, at least that's how I see it...
Just try and enjoy the ride - even though it IS hard sometimes to define everything, or everyone.
xoxo
The time spent to find out who you are is so wonderful/awful/stressful/tearful. But I think my favorite part, just being you. You are smart, honest, caring and so much more.
I think if you can love the person searching for who you are you'll love the person you find.
Good luck. I'm there too and it isn't easy.
That is so well put. I often find myself wondering who and what I really want to be when I grow up. And then I have to remind myself I am 35 and really better get to that growing up part. Ugh.
I think that is a good point- maybe we HAVE found ourselves, but it's not someone we really like so we "keep looking?" Until we are who we want to be... it's how we continue to grow and become who were are supposed to be.
Maybe?
Steph
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